There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize