Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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