She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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