were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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