so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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