she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize