Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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