I'm drive I can fine osifer
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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