why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
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They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
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We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
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