So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize