I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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