He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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