He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
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Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
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I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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