check it out our google latitudes are spooning
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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