Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
The ass gains better be worth it
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