and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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