Say something about gay babies.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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