don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize