i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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