she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize