That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
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Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Also, beer. Big fan.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
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When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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