I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
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