he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
FUCK WHALES
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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