why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize