Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
where are my eyebrows?
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