I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
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we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
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Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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