you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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