So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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