Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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