I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize