he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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