butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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