how can u be prego again
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at about main and main street
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize