So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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