So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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