Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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