Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize