And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
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