I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize