i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize