I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
he fucked my hip out of place.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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