You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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