I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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