Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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