I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
not ubering you a puppy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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