Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
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you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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