i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
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