I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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