It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize