not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
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Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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